AUTHENTICALLY BOLD: REBECCA

Have you ever hit a time in your life where you felt like you were approaching or at a crossroads? The intersection of complacency and transformation, yet, you are unsure which direction to take. What do you do?

Being the adventurous “traveler” that I am I have found myself at this junction several times over; particularly in the past twenty years. Often times, I blame my Type-A personality, my need to achieve style, my *Can’tSitStillForAMoment* character trait for circling back around to said intersection of confusion.

My arrival at this jointed station is always – always – greeted by the little Angel Rebecca and Devil Rebecca on each respective shoulder. Alas, says the Angel….what’s wrong with a little complacency? From a high level perspective, your life is pretty darn good at the moment….what needs to change? Enjoy the ride! STFU, says the Devil (she can be a terse bitch), why would you ever settle for what is? Life is too short, keep moving, keep changing, and certainly do not ever think for one moment that life is meant to coast.

Who sets the pace of the journey we take called life? We do, of course. For some, the ride may be slower, less bumpy and pretty consistently wandered without much fanfare or ado. For others, like me, the ride may be like Goliath the roller coaster: ups and downs, fast and slow, exciting and scary – consistently changing and somewhat unpredictable.

For example, there are people who are perfect happy with the same job – year after year after year. Or there are folks who complacently live within the boundary lines of their home town, and contentedly so – not missing any happenings in the next city over or even nearby in Boston. Is there anything wrong with these satisfied gentlefolk who start their lives on a straight tangent and continue that way throughout their lifetime without any crossroads? Of course, not. Is it a simpler way of living, an easier life? I do not know. Let’s ask them!

What about people like myself, who stream along but when things seem stagnant for an undetermined amount of time, we feel the need to shake it up a bit? Why settle? Why ride straight when there’s that turn here, this turn there, whoaaaa – lookie that curve ahead………..right?

In addition to my *Can’tSitStillForAMoment* trait, I fear complacency. I strive for the need to be a better person than I was yesterday. New opportunities present additional lessons to improve upon myself: professionally and personally. Right?

Having had cancer and the typical cliché “awakening” that comes with surviving a potential death trip, I am more hyper-vigilant about ensuring I am living my life to the fullest and I wonder if that is why I come to more crossroads than ever before. I also believe this is why I struggle with knowing when it’s “okay” to ride the complacency train for a bit. You know, maybe I do not need to turn off at this junction and it is okay for me to continue straight for a bit. The nagging feeling of needing change is not one that *needs* to be acted upon at every junction.  My kneejerk reaction is to change my course, particularly when things are not going as I planned or envisioned.

My role at my current job is somewhat undefined, yet there is growth potential down the line when I am more ready and find it easier to balance motherhood and career (all while not jeopardizing my health). Much of who I am as a person is defined by my work, so the need to keep striving in my employment is compelling. Yet, I am *okay* with what my current role is because my children need me and my years with them are limited. My flexible work schedule also allows me gym time, which is becoming more and more important and compelling a factor in my future. Perhaps that’s a to-be-determined crossroad in and of itself in my constant scrutiny of living my life to its fullest? Ah, time will tell.

My role in charity and non-profits is certainly at a junction. Somehow, if the bills would pay themselves, I would thrust myself into the world of charity even more so than my current over-giving personality allows. What is my current role to be exact? Sure, I mentor cancer patients and help them advocate for themselves on a weekly basis. With my time being constrained by other responsibilities, the time I afford to charity and my favorite non-profits must be delegated wisely. Do I push forward with the ones I am currently associated, despite on-going challenges or do I take a left turn? Ah, time will tell.

Even with this particular blog, there are many detours and intersections of direction offered. Do we go straight? Do we turn left? Do we turn right? What direction do we go? Each turn we take navigates a different walk of life; some choices may be better for us and others may be entirely wrong. The pace in which we guide ourselves is only something that each and every one of us may determine – and it cannot be compared to those around us. Coasting down the straight away may feel weird to some of us, but sometimes, that is the answer as well.  Complacency has a place, at times, right?  Wrong?

Questions for YOU:

What are some of your crossroads? What decision do you make? Are you constantly evolving and changing direction? Or do you prefer the consistency of the straight away ahead?